Where Have You Gone Chloe?

Turning I saw her, “Oh Chloe, you are beautiful. The way the sun shines on your hair, the streaks of red and blonde, my God, you are here.” The excitement in my voice grew. The beautiful angel stood just a few feet from me. I moved toward her and took her right, pale hand in mine.

“Oh, my love.” I gushed. A smile came to her face, reaching deeply into her beautiful blue eyes. I pulled her to me. Our embrace lasted for what seemed an eternity. I felt the joy beating in her heart as I held her. Pulling back, she lightly touched my face. Taking her by the arm, I led her toward the pathway.

“Right over there. That is where I was standing when I first saw you. Just there under that big oak. The air was so clear. Ah, to breathe in was like sinking slowly into a warm soaking tub; relaxing, refreshing, and oddly exciting all at the same time.” I pulled her closer, wrapping my arm about her waist. I closed my eyes, trying to capture the moment once more in my mind. The feeling of warmth that had flooded over me, it fell upon me once more. I smiled broadly, then I turned to the face the woman I loved so dearly. Her eyes were also closed, her light face, freckled with the kisses of angels, beaming in a radiance I had never noticed before. Excitement ran through my veins like warm water. I moved slightly further down the path.

“And here, just here by this hibiscus I felt the wind brush by as a soft whisper on the ear. Your hair was blown back, and I … I saw how beautiful you truly are. It was all so incredible, do you remember?” I let go of my hold on her and slowly twirled, then, throwing my arms wide, my white blouse billowed, as if the wind had caught hold of me.

“I… I could scarcely take it all in. You, there next to me, the wind playing perfectly about us. It was as if the whisper of God had caught us and held us here, don’t you remember?” I dropped my arms with a wistful sigh. I lowered my eyes for a moment, and shook my graying head. “It was so perfect,” I whispered.

I lifted my head again and stared into those lovely eyes. I went to her. Slightly taller, I lifted her chin and ran a finger over her full lips. Her smile remained as before. I longed to kiss her, but something … something about the moment, just seemed not quite right. Pulling her to me again, I turned and looked out around us. “Isn’t it all so lovely Chloe?”

“Look there,” I pointed to the distant hills. A road ran between two hills, making it appear as though they had been tied into a bow. And look there,” I pointed toward the fields. “Look how the heather mutes the glare of sun on the meadow. It’s all so brilliant and alive, stunning and warm. I don’t know I could just… just….” My heart felt as if it could burst. The lovely woman beside me. The beautiful world before me. It was so peaceful, yet vibrant with color. I turned from the view, then noticed something more. I grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me quickly.

“Oh, quickly dear, quickly come here, right here, here, yes, yes this is the spot, this is…, this is where… where I was when I first, um,” a cloud of confusion drifted across my memory. Just as suddenly, the excitement returned.

“Yes, it was this spot, here. I first, well of course, it was the first time, I certainly would have not, um…. Oh, right, yes. It was here I spotted it.” I paused. I dropped her hand and lifted my hands to my lips. I was suddenly afraid to speak, afraid to spoil the moment; the memory.

“Oh, Chloe, it was so magnificent.” I whispered through my fingers. I felt a pang of sorrow, but pushed it away quickly. Finally, I softly spoke again.

“Luminous wings, gently flapping on just a whiff of a breath. I watched it, as it danced on wings.” I tilted my head slightly, the visual memory spreading wide in my mind’s eye.

“It floated magically and then lit for just a moment on my finger.” I lifted my hand and stared intently at my index finger. The memory now fully alive. I stared at my finger as if examining in minute detail every facet of the joyous creature. I sank slowly to the brown carpeted floor, my bare feet caught in the ragged edges of dingy white pants.

“It fluttered briefly, then it was off again. I followed it you know.” I turned to Chloe, a bright smile on my face. “Do you remember? First it went this way, and then that.” I moved my arms in a zigzag motion. I dropped my arms, and watched the memory float on the breeze. I stood and turned toward Chloe, I smiled sheepishly. “It was so beautiful, you remember, just dancing on the breeze.” I stopped.

Everything stopped.

Sound, sight, breath, even time stopped.

“Where has it gone Chloe? Oh, Chloe where has it gone?” Suddenly I felt frantic. A cold chill began to sink in.

Silence.

A shadow crossed over me.

Stillness became a curtain, surrounding me, closing the bright world from my memory…. I stood, and swayed slightly. Suddenly, my balance seemed to have deserted me. I wrapped my arms around my upper body, my head bobbed slightly as a sob escaped. I felt only silence, and cold, very cold.

Then a light, brief, but bright, flashed before my eyes.

Turning I saw her, “Oh Chloe, you are beautiful. The way the sun shines on your hair, the streaks of red and blonde, my God, you are here.” My feet shuffled along the dingy brown carpet. The beautiful angel stood just a few feet from me. I moved toward her and took her right, pale hand in mine.

“Oh, my love.” I gushed. Blurrily a smile came to her face. I reached for her. Barely keeping my balance, I imagined our embrace lasting for what seemed an eternity. I felt the joy beating in my heart as I held her. Pulling back, her cold fingers lightly touched my face.

“Right over there. That is where I was standing,” excitement filled my voice again, “just there under that big oak.” I pulled her closer to me. “The air was so clear. Ah, to breathe in was like, like sinking slowly into a warm soaking tub, relaxing, refreshing and oddly exciting all at the same time. Oh, how wonderful!” I turned quickly, my foot catching for a moment in the ragged white pants I wore. But the vision was not disturbed.

“And here, by this hibiscus, the wind brushed by as a soft whisper on the ear.” I twirled around a small sigh escaped. A sense of urgency made my heart race.

“Isn’t it all so lovely Chloe?” I looked toward the woman, she seemed blurry. My voice seemed strained. “It’s all so brilliant and alive, stunning and warm. I could just… just….” I rushed toward a different spot on the brown carpet.

“This is the spot, this is…, this is where… where I was…. ” Clouds of confusion again drifted over my mind. I looked back toward my love, she seemed so distant. “Oh, Chloe, it was so magnificent.” My throat tightened. I looked around frantically, trying to remember, slowly words came to me.

“It fluttered briefly….” Sadness was closing in. “It was so beautiful you remember? Just there, on the breeze.” I stopped. Sudden fear coursed through my being. The image gone. I fell to the floor, tears began to stream down my face.

“Where have you gone Chloe? Oh, Chloe where have you gone?” All around me were dingy white walls, a small cot and a dirt brown rug. I fell silent. Dark shadows crossed over my mind. Squeezing my eyes shut I pushed away at the things I had just seen. I wished. I prodded and forced my mind to see….

There she stood. The lush green of the woods returned.

“Oh Chloe, you are beautiful. The way the sun shines on your hair, the streaks of red and blonde, my God, you are here.” The excitement in my voice grew. The beautiful angel stood just a few feet from me. I moved clumsily toward her and reached for her pale right hand.

“Oh, my love.” I gushed. I wrapped my arms tightly about myself. The memory holding on. Pulling back, I felt something brush against my face, my own hand.

Something was different. Something was clawing at my thoughts. Something pulling me away, something tearing at me….

“Right over there. That is where… just … wind brush …yes this is the spot this is… this is where I was…. Chloe?” I was breathless now. My voice seemed so strange, the memories so foggy. Then it all was a blur.

A shuddering sob drove me to my knees, onto the rough brown rug. Anguish tore at my heart as I cried out. The sound bounced around the white room, padded for my own protection.

“Where are you Chloe?” I shouted in terror, lost in sorrow. “Where have you gone?”

***

Those looking on were silent. They watched as my world disappeared into the blackness of insanity.